by Dale Reeves
Story Pastor
This past Wednesday several members of our church staff and friends participated in the 41st Annual Mason Kiwanis Golf Classic held at The Grizzly Golf and Social Lodge. Each spring some of our staff support this worthy cause and try our best to represent our church the best we can—in the score we turn in for our four-men scramble, and, most importantly, the Christlike attitude we strive to exhibit on the golf course. This fundraiser for Kiwanis aids their goal of providing college scholarships for several deserving students in the Mason area each year.
This year we had two foursomes, one team consisting of Alan Baumlein, Jeremy Braley, Jake Santel, and Andy Shiver; and the other team consisting of Brad Wilson, Mike Lawson, Nick Borgmann, and myself. Neither of us won the tournament. Alan’s team beat Brad’s by one stroke. They were eleven under par, and we were ten under par. It was a great time of fellowship and fun as we enjoyed an absolutely perfect day of weather after the serious storms the night before.
As I reflected on the day, and as we look forward to celebrating Mother’s Day this coming Sunday, it occurs to me that being successful on the golf course is not unlike being successful as a Christian mom. What?!? I can hear you thinking. I can hardly wait to hear where this analogy is going. Well, grab your golf clubs and jump in the cart with me for a few minutes, as we dig into this metaphor for successful mothering.
A Strong Drive
In the game of golf, whether the hole is a par 5, par 4, or par 3, achieving a par or even a birdie begins with a solid drive. Ideally, the drive is straight—not too far right or left—lands in the fairway, not the rough or a sand trap, and is far enough to give the next shot a good chance at reaching the putting surface. A golfer needs to know which wood or iron to hit off the tee box on each hole to give him or her the best chance of achieving success.
What is it that should drive a Christian mom in her parenting of her children? What motivates her to help each of her children become the best they can be based on the way each of them was wired by God? Is she driven to help her kids fall in love with Jesus? She must know which club to use and when to use it (and I’m not talking about discipline!).
A wise mother teaches her kids to follow this advice from King Solomon:
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil” (NIV).
The Right Approach
Once a golf ball is lying in the fairway, a golfer must decide the best chance for getting the ball to land on the green. This second shot is called the “approach shot.” It’s often been said, “It’s not how you drive, it’s how you arrive.” Once again, a golfer must know the clubs in his bag well. Which club is the best to use based on how the ball is lying? Does he need more distance or more loft to stick the ball on the green? My two favorite clubs in my bag are my hybrid and my eight-iron, and I will choose to hit them whenever I can as I tend to have more success with them than any other clubs in my bag.
As a golfer sizes up the next shot, he looks toward the green to see where the flag sits on top of the flagstick, indicating the location of the hole in the green he is trying to reach. Just as the flagstick needs to be visible for the golfer to make a good approach shot, it is also critical for a mom to keep her eye on the ultimate goal she is striving for—to raise her children to be productive members of society, and most of all, to know and love Jesus above all else. Just as a flag on a green can give indications regarding the direction and strength of the wind near the green, so, too, a mom needs to be aware of “which way the wind is blowing” in today’s culture as well as the winds blowing through her kids’ minds.
The apostle Paul provides some good instruction for moms in Ephesians 4:14, “Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth” (NLT). How applicable this is for moms who are helping their teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence!
A mother needs to know how each of her kids are wired, and what works best for each of them. What may work for motivating one child may not work at all for another. What may work best for disciplining her firstborn might backfire with her middle child, or her last child. Isn’t it amazing how different two kids from the same family, being raised in the same environment, can be? There are times when a mom might need to shout “Fore” so that others might know what kind of wayward shot might be heading their way.
Proverbs 22:6 instructs us and gives us a promise we can hold onto: “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it” (AMP).
A Winning Finish
In case you’ve never ruined a four- or five-hour stroll by attempting to play a round of golf, the aim for each hole is to putt the ball into the hole in the ground on the green. The target area of each golf hole contains an actual hole or “cup” inside its perimeter. When the golfer’s ball falls in the cup, it signals the end of that hole, after which the golfer must compute how many strokes it took to reach this point. Some golfers struggle with “short-term memory.”
The putter is widely considered to be the most important club in the bag. That’s why many golfers say, “Drive for show, putt for dough.” If someone hits a great drive (both long and straight), and follows it up with an accurate approach shot, but misses a few putts on the green, the score can add up very quickly. Some keys to effective putting include proper alignment and stance, keeping your eyes over the ball, the correct grip on the club, the ability to “read the green” (calculating the slope and needed pace of a particular shot), swinging straight through the ball, and knowing just how hard to strike the ball on each individual putt.
Similarly, as a mom approaches the time when her children will fly the coop, the last “putts” she makes in her kids’ teen and college years are crucial. Of course, the right strokes begin when the kids are preschoolers. When my wife is asked how she has maintained her closeness with our two daughters, she is quick to point out, “It really started when they were very young.” Even though not all parents can make the sacrifice, my wife and I decided early on that she would stay home with them during their formative years. She is a dental hygienist by profession, and she put that on the back burner during our girls’ early years so that she would be the primary voice in their little ears. It took some real sacrifice on our part to make that work, but if we had to do it all over again, we would make the same choice.
I often share with parents that when their kids reach the late middle school years, that the parents will be the dumbest people on the planet. Then, when their kids reach their early 20s or so, they will suddenly be brilliant again. When does a mom stop being a mom? Never. Even though her advice may be unheeded, ignored, or disobeyed, it never really lands on deaf ears. The kids are listening more than we know, and we also know that more is “caught” by our examples than is “taught” by our words. And, now that my wife is Mamaw to four beautiful grandchildren, our daughters still seek her advice on a regular basis.
At the end of the day, just like on a golf course, a mom wants to help her children “finish well.” Drop it in the bottom of the cup. Sink the putt. Do the victory dance. The job of a mom is to provide a great atmosphere for learning, teaching her kids to make good decisions, then be able to trust them, and cheer them on as they launch into adulthood. Want to make this Mother’s Day truly memorable? Take her out for a stroll on the golf course Sunday afternoon.
“Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” (Proverbs 31:29, The Message).